Happy Halloween....

Halloween Tips:

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out. If the breakers are in the basement, go to another house.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language whichthey should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lotof grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill one, so be prepared. This instruction also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and split up.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.

8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HECK OUT.

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits. Just get out.

10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Do not stop and look around.

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology. Even if you're sureyou know what you're doing. Especially if you're sure you know whatyou're doing.

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall downat least twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are runningand the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristicbehavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're introuble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or anysmall town in Maine.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not goto the nearby deserted looking house to phone for help. If you thinkthat it's all strange because you thought you had half of a tank,shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.

17. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is thetime to move in with the in-laws. This applies to houses that hadprevious inhabitants who went mad or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.

****************

Happy Halloween from Elmo and me!!