The temp has slipped to 60 degrees, and we are forecasted to catch all of the midwest's bad weather, get snow, and hit highs of 30 degrees by this weekend. I HATE living up here. Winter till April is sooo not cool. The grocery stores stink too. I got so used to 1 grocery store having everything I need... and since we have moved here Everything is split between 2 stores, and it drives me nutty.
We finally hit the WH this morning, and it was yumm! I crave their ham & cheese omelettes with ketchup smothered hashbrowns every now and then. As a Youth Pastor, Nate has Monday's off, so we slept in, well really till Seth was screaming so loudly Nate had to get him, then we headed on over.
I took some awesome pics yesterday of Seth out in front of the house, so I think I'll post a pic a day from the shoot this week.... you saw the first in yesterday's post, here is #2~
be sure to come back and visit this week so you can see the rest! (Nikon D70s, 50mm, ISO 500, F:1.8, 1/4000.)
Nate and I are feeling discouraged with ministering lately. Sometimes it is so silly. Nate preached last Sunday night, and one of the Elder's got complained to b/c his shirt was untucked. To me, that really shows where their heart is. That they are so distracted by an untucked shirt, that they can't listen to a message about God's love and providence. My situation with the woman is still very strained. I am actually meeting with a mutual friend this afternoon, b/c she invited me to coffee. I am nervous that it's really a plot to get me talking about this situation.
Both Nate and I are fairly lonely. But being a ministerial family, thats what normally happens. We moved to a strange city, so of course packs of friends and families have already been formed. I have tried hard to reach out, like last summer when I tried to start a Mommy & Me playtime at the local park. No one ever came. Seth & I don't get invited to other kid's Bday parties... I am not sure if its b/c we are The Pastor & Pastor's wife, and should be held at arm's length or what. Its just getting lonely and frustrating.
I think thats why I THRIVE on the Digi Scrap boards, b/c I am accepted completely there, and people actually talk to me. Don't get me wrong, this is a great church, and they take care of us, but there are some things lacking. So when yesterday when the lady invited me to coffee, I JUMPED on the chance... only later did I realize what it might be.
So anyways. This blog entry was very personal! LOL~ not sure yet if being so open, so publically is a good thing. Guess I'll find out.
25 comments:
Andrea,
I enjoy your blog and also your posts on 2Peas. I just had to comment today because I could so totally relate to what you were saying.
My husband is the Bishop (we are LDS aka Mormon) and I think people do get very intimidated by being friends with church leaders and their families. It's too bad really, because you know as well as I do that we are just nice & normal people. :)
Anyway, I think that is one of the reasons I love the digi world so much too.
Thanks for sharing your feelings here today and for listening to mine. :)
Take care,
Katie
Ok, so now you have "strangers" leaving you comments...lol. But I wanted to say that I admire your strength of character. I can't imagine moving and being new all the time in a community. Keep organizing the playdates, because eventually someone will come and that person could turn out to be your bestest friend. My brother & SIL live in a small town in PA and when they moved there they became good friends with the minister and his wife. The minister and his wife had spent 4 years with no friends and just one Sunday my brother shows up in church. They are now best family friends and godparents of each other's children. See the Lord works in mysterious ways....jenn
Andrea, I am so sorry you are feeling lonely. I can totally relate as I have had those feelings at times as well. I wish we lived closer so we could hang out! I totally appreciate your honesty and openness!
Andrea, I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely right now! I hope your coffee date is just that and nothing underhanded! Let's pray you meet a wonderful woman who has recognized a beautiful person and wants to be friends!!
Love the pictures of Seth! So beautiful! And your new header is very pretty!
Oh Andrea! I hope your coffee today is everything that you are not expecting! I'm praying, too, that those walls will quickly fall!I'm so sorry that you're dealing with that.
On a slightly humerous note- you can move here! Some of our clsest friends are pastors and their families. :o)
I am thankful for your friendship! Funny how we can develop such great relationships here that at times feel even more genuine and sincere than those in real life!
Andrea,
Just wanted to give you some support here too....I'm not a pastor's wife, so I can't relate from that perspective, but I can definitely relate to moving to a city where you know NO ONE. I moved out East after college and to this day, really only have a handful of "close" friends out here. Those from "back home" will always be my true friends. Being online has opened up an entirely new world of friendship to me and I'm so happy you're found the same to be true. Too bad all these fantastic digi-ladies don't live just down the street, right? :) Hang in there, I hope things get better very soon! :)
I can't relate to you there, but I do see in many churches I have been to how the pastor and his family have been left out. It's like people don't want to see the other side of them besides being a pastor. They are afraid of how he/she really is if they aren't in their pastor roll. And I do see what you mean about some people more focused on little things instead of the message. At my parent's church, the church were I went to. They are having a huge fallout with the elders and they let the pastor go because he wouldn't sign something that he had a different opinion then they had. It's hard to see things like this happen because it's just a little thing. And it seems like they are looking beyond the whole duty of the pastor and not listening to the word.
I feel for you! And since we are moving closer to you, you can bring yourself, nate & seth to Aiden's 1st bday party!:) I would love to have you come and meet you and your family!
Andrea,
I think you will find that letting the words flow and being so open will be healing for you. Why is it that these things happen? I feel for you and know you will get thru this. I will keep you and hubby in my prayers.
Okay, this next suggestion is half serious half joking but we would love you at our church!! Our youth pastor recently left and we are on a nationwide search for a replacement. Since I live in Lincoln, you would not be getting away from cold winters! Anyway, if it trips your trigger check us out... www.horizonchurch.org.
On a brighter note...could your little guy be any cuter! Love the pic and the colors are absolutely stunning!
Oops. Should have been www.horizonschurch.org.
I'm coming out of lurkdome to comment. I'm not a pastor's wife, but I'm a retired pastor's daughter-in-law if that counts for anything as far as dishing out advice. ;) My DH's family moved around lots while he was growing up and I know his mom had the same experiences as you are having. I'll be praying that you meet some awesome women soon! Have you thought about reaching out to the other pastors & wives in your community to support one another? OK, enough advice from me that you didn't ask for. ;)
I love your blog & your layouts. You're very talented!
Love the picture of you son, it's beautiful! I like how you put all the photography info underneath too, that might be helpful to me once I figure out some more stuff. LOL
I hope the coffee you were invited for was out of genuine friendship and not to manipulate you. My dh's military, so I kind of understand how isolating things can be and how picky you have to be about friendships a lot of times.
Andrea,
Not sure where you are in PA, (I am too) but I grew up in a strict church so I know what you mean....I really hope all goes well for you....prayers and blessings!
Andrea first can I say how AWESOME your photos are. They take my breath away!!! You are such a great photographer.
Second, I can relate to you because as a military family we have had to move and try to find friends for me and the kids. I fell worst about the kids because they are too young for school so they don't have a regular circle of friends.
Keep your chin up. You are a great person and those people will notice it in time!!! In the meantime we all love ya!!!
I recently asked my pastor's wife out for coffee. Pastor asked her if something was wrong, if everything was ok with my family. Her son asked her the same thing. Why is it that people can't just make friends with the pastoral staff. But after talking with her a while, it seems this is a problem everywhere. And what's really strange to me is that the pastors wives don't hang out together either. I would think they would have so much in common and be able to share each others' burdens.
A book that helped me overcome a lot of my own problems with making friends is How To Stop the Pain by Dr. James Richards. Very powerful; changed my whole way of thinking.
Hangeth thou in there!
Andrea,
I enjoyed the story that you wrote about the poison dart frogs. I also like the design that you did for your blog header.
Cheers
I'm so sorry you are having a hard time meeting people and developing friendships at your new church. I laughed at a few of the comments because I too thought, "If you were at my church I would be friends with you." :) One of my closest friends growing up married her high school sweetheart from our church. When it came time for them to find a church they were able to find one in town! We were so happy for them. Another friend from high school has moved quite a few times, while she and her husband try to find the right place for them to minister.
While I am not in your position I know how hard it must be. I don't even know you, but I hope you are encouraged by all the comments.
Angel
gosh- i don't really know you but wish you lived around here. My husband is a youth pastor and i know all too well the left out feeling. Yes, we have friends- but we aren't friends with them like they are friends with each other- kwim? We have lived here six years now and I would just love to have someone to pour my heart out to- to talk about ministry trials- someone who ununderstands. Ministry can be so hard and so lonely at times- it can be frustrating to keep going...
Anyway- if you ever want to talk- I am always around- even though you have no idea who I am ;)
BTW- I actually was first going to comment on your vibrant pictures- I just LOVE them!
I can't relate to your problem, but I pray that you find the comfort and friendship you deserve. I hope your coffee was not what you were thinking, but instead a beginning of a true friendship.
On another note...you're photography is GORGEOUS!!! Wow!
Andrea,
Everyone is saying it so beautifully, and I can't add much to it except to say I feel for you, and I hope your coffee date went well.
I moved away from a tight-knit church family almost two years ago, and haven't yet found my niche in our current congregation. It's a tough, tough thing, and I'm guessing it's even harder when you are part of the ministry staff. My best friend at the last church was the youth minister's wife, so I got a pretty good glimpse of how trying that position can be sometimes! Keep your chin up, and you'll be in my prayers. Thank you for the depth of your words and the honesty with which you write. You may not have been intending to help and encourage someone else, but you helped me today.
Char
Andrea you have me in tears with your post!! I can so relate to what you are saying!! DH is the pastor at our church and it's soooo hard some days. He's been gone til midnight the last few nights trying to deal with something-and it's such a silly thing too. You made me feel better too about the digi boards-ok-I don't feel as isolated in my life because of them - I am going to stop "hijacking" your blog! The Lord is good and will strengthen you with His might.
andrea,
love the pics. you're a great photographer.
your entry makes me sad. right now my church life isn't what i want it to be either. we've been at this church for 6 years now - worked hard in the ministry and not once has someone invited us out for personal fellowship. of course, being big social people, i did allot of inviting - but this group just doesn't have any relationships outside of sunday service.
we're moving soon -and i'm excited about the change. we'll be hanging out w/ a very untraditionalist bunch of ministry friends/family.
keep it honest girl - it's the best way to survive.
you are a stong and talented person...if something happens over coffee, you will stay poised and beautiful as ever!!
you know seth is my FAV lil man!! your pics strike me whenever i see them!!
(coming out of lurkdom for you!)
andrea, sweetie! (((HUGS))) one of my dearest friends is a pastor's daughter and i know just what you are going through. she felt so lonely sometimes...like she was set apart from everyone, but i believe that that is what makes our friendship as strong as it is. she knew i accepted her just for her and it is a beautiful relationship. i hope you find that and soon! you need that! one day it'll just happen and you wont be lonely anymore!! (((MORE HUGS)))
Hey Andrea - I didn't realize that you guys were pastors? Wow! Just wanted to let you know that you handled the situation well... but don't move - esp. if you are "new" to this church. Your perseverance will pay off. Everything that comes our way will refine our character so if you see it as God trying to teach/show you something, it'll be easier to handle the situations. Pray for the woman. She'll come around. And just a little bit of insight - a lot of times, people don't want to "hang" with the pastor and his wife b/c they feel they have to put their guard up. They can't "relax" b/c they feel they have to live up to a certain (high) expectation. Ppl tend to forget that the pastor and pastor's wife are HUMAN, too. Do you have prayer meetings at your church? This is how my pastor's wife and I got close. She started a ladies prayer in the mornings at our church and invited all the sahm's and ladies that could come in on their breaks and prayed with us. She taught me how to pray (sounds silly, I know but as a new convert - I had NO IDEA how!) We started hanging out after prayer and now we're friends. She's waaaaaaaay more down to earth than I thought. I used to have this HUGE misconception (which is why I gave you that lil insight earlier, lol!) So, just keep on keepin on (as we say around here) and GOD will bless you! Give the congregation time to get used to you. And PRAY for those that criticize you. Otherwise, it will be too easy to fall into negative thinking. If you PRAY for them, God will give you a sincere love for them. Continue to greet the woman who yelled at you. DON'T avoid her. She'll only have more to talk about...
Okay, so GOSH - totally didn't mean to use up so much space but wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers! ((hugs))
OH - and on a different note, I've been meaning to tell you that I LOVE your photography! I'm going to have to ask you for some tips! (I'm taking a quickie class right now at a local shop so when I'm done, I'll be hitting you up for some pointers, lol!) ;)
I am so sorry you are going through that. I know it seems like churchs go through spurts like that maybe that is it.
I would be your buddy if we lived closer!We live in fairly upper middle class area with older parents...so dh and I don't fit in...we are transplants so we have few friends...no family close by...I semi-know what you are going through. I know it is hrd but you do have a truly blessed life :)
jade
houston ( we went to one playgroup and the ladies were mean to mommy and me!)
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