Things are starting to get better here. Its taken 3 weeks, but I'm finally just starting to get the hang of 2 children. Adjusting from one to two was much harder than I thought!
Lucas is doing great... he is nursing very 2.5 to 3 hours. He actually had a few nights in a row where he has slept a 4.5 hour stretch. He still has a bit of baby acne and his bum is pretty sensitive, regardless of frequent diaper changes.
Seth still loves his brother, and he adores his father. Its his mother he is acting out against. I'm not sure if he is jealous or what, but Seth has taken to yelling "NO" at me, willfully disobeying, and even told me to "shut up" once. Its breaking my heart. And I know that by typing it... it may just look like terribly twos... but its not. Its his tone and the way he glares at me when he does it.
This morning when I was getting Seth dressed for church he was yelling at me... and it made me well up. I told Nate, "Why did I become a mother again? One child hates me, and the other solely looks at me for dinner."
This is just a stage right? I'd really like my darling Seth back.
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Thanks for all the well wishes and compliments about my website. I am still tweaking it here and there. I already have 2 more possible clients, and a possibly wedding in September. Fingers crossed!
12 comments:
Hang in there! It will get better...I also have a new baby in the house...she is almost 8 months now... it slowly gets better and better.
Oh Andrea! I feel for you. I went through the same problem with Garrett when I had Lance. It is a phase and Seth is just doing a little venting. He probably just feels displaced. With Daddy he is a big boy but with Mommy they are always little boys but when there is a new baby they feel like they have lost their place. Maybe have something special for only Seth and Mommy to do will help. Baking cookies and cupcakes with Garrett worked for us!
I'm so sorry to hear that Seth is acting out, but I'm sure it will pass with time. I can't imagine how hard it is to go from one to two children, but I know it will be wonderful in a few months when everyone is more settled in, I'm sure! Hugs!!
I also felt going form one to two was a huge adjustment. My DD's are only 15 months apart. Now that they are 2 1/2 & 3, I wouldn't have changed the hard times in the beinning for the world. Time is all you need. A dear friend of mine gave me great advice for older DD. Make time for her and make her feel special! My house was not as clean as I wanted it to be the first year but making time for each DC was the best advice someone could have given me. You have to make time for Lucas because he nurses but also make special Seth time and make a big deal that it's his special time. I love reading your blog, looking at your pictures and hearing about your life. I always say, "being a mom is one of the hardest things I have ever done but also the most rewarding." When your adustment period is over...having 2 kiddos is so worth it!
Denise from BBC 9/04
I know it's hard! I've been there. Just hang in there. It will get better. I promise. It doesn't help that your hormones are still all out of wack and you feel emotional. I've definitely been there. I agree that doing special things with Seth will help him to understand that you still love him. It's just going to take time for hime to adjust to this major change in his little world. (((Hugs!)))
Oh.. it is going to get better... he will always love you. he just doesn't like the time that you are spending with the baby.. he is use to being the center of attention.. that is always hard.. Hang in there and keep talking to people.. so you don't get in a funk.. it is very hard.. you are sensitive right now. Hugs.. Joy
My not yet 3 yr old was horrible to me after his sister was born. I remember meeting a neighbor at the mailboxes after one particularly awful afternoon and when she asked me how things were going, I burst into tears. It eventually settled down but it took about 2 months before he was back to being the child I knew. It's rough for them to adjust - and really rough for the mom to feel like she has betrayed (and to some extend ruin the life of..) her firstborn.
Seth will be ok. Just give him, and yourself, time to adjust to the new relationship the two of you must forge.
I do know from experience that Seth will become the old Seth again. He is jealous right know but with mine I was just thankful they took it out on me instead of the baby. I know it is still hard when you feel like they don't like you anymore but it will get better. (until they become teenagers when they don't like you again!) I have 5 kids and it happens all the time. Seth just has to adjust and this is how he is dealing with it. He still loves you! Cy
It will all work out Andrea. I know it is frustrating and confusing. You have only been a perfect mother all around so just keep doing what you are doing and Seth will be able to work it out. He knows you love him. :o) Glad to hear everyone is adjusting well and naturally. :o) Have a great day.
Angela
Awwwww Andrea, {{{{{hugs}}}}}
It will get better! Luckily I didn't deal with this but my very good friend did and she started a special time with the older child, something for just the two of them and it made a HUGE difference! Also she gave the older sibling an age appropriate responsibility that had to do with helping with the baby. They were so proud to be a part of taking care of the baby, that the whole thing turned around to be a wonderful experience. He will adjust to "sharing" you!
Have a great week!!
I know how much it breaks your heart! My daughter was 3 when we brought home her little sister and she said to me 'I'm mad at you for bringing home that baby!'. I couldn't believe that she actually said that to me! It made me CRY right then and there - I felt just like you did in that moment. BUT I was also thankful that she was actually able to express that with words so that i understood it. It is hard, but it does get better. Try to have 'dates' with JUST him to make sure he doesn't feel like he is getting neglected. I know that doesn't help the day to day stuff - you are busy with feeding the baby and all the babies needs during the day and that's a hard concept for a little guy to get. I wish you the best! Hang in there - he doesn't 'hate' you - he's just trying to adjust....I mean, who really likes change?? =)
hugs!
jen
Oh, have I BTDT...right down to breaking down crying and wondering what on earth we were thinking. But, it was so worth it (which, of course, you already know! :) ) Just let things settle down a bit. Seth is most comfortable with you and he loved his little life just the way it was with you in the center of it. It will take a little adjusting from all of you, but in the end, as you know, there's nothing like having a sibling. He may not understand any of it yet, but one day, he will be so grateful for his brother! ((Hugs!))
AngelinaS
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